A Junkie’s Confession

I have a problem, and it’s time I come clean. I live for the thrill of the next high, the rush of adrenaline when I find the next drug. It’s a hard, hard life, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from seeking out the next thrill.

I am a craft junkie.

I started out when I was just a child, with embroidery. My mom would let me buy those iron on Aunt Martha design envelopes and some embroidery floss and a little tea towel and off I’d go. It was a gateway craft, though – enough to get me hooked on making things, but not enough to satisfy my desire, no, my NEED, to be creative. I did some latch hook kits, then I did a little sewing of things like kids’ shorts, slacks for myself … I progressed in to making fabric covered photo albums when my kids were small. Then I found quilting, which led to more sewing. And soap and candle making. And now I have found my next big thing – vinyl.

I bought a Brother ScanNCut when they first came on the market a few years ago. I used it a few times, but honestly, it scared me so much I was almost afraid to touch it. It just seemed so complicated to use, and I was afraid I would do something to really screw it up. But one of my New Year’s (Non-) Resolutions for this year was to learn how to use this machine. And I can say with some pride that I’ve at least conquered my fear of this machine, and I’m using it to make t-shirts and other items. And I’m having a BLAST with it!

So that I could get the full effect of the vinyl, I also bought a heat press, and the combination is exciting and fun. Aaaaaaaaand … it’s led to a new business line for me (oh come on, you HAD to see THAT coming!). It started with this t-shirt I made for my daughter …

She saw a similar design at a show we were at earlier this month, and she really wanted it. The shirt she saw was a tank top, and the cost was more than $40! I didn’t have a tank top, but I did have a tee, and so we tried it out. Not only did she love the way it turned out, so did many of her friends.

 

These are shirts I’ve made for her friends, who wanted their home state instead of a heart inside the Texas. I’ve started calling it the “Transplanted Texan” shirt. LOL

I also bought a few transfers and tried those out as well …

But my plan is to do more of my own designs and fewer purchased designs.

You can look for these on the website in the near future; I’m just want to get some better photos first. 🙂

 

It Took Over My Entire Life

In my last post, I revealed plans to move to primarily an online presence around mid-year, after the spring shows are done, and I talked about cutting back the product line I keep on hand. Neither of those were easy decisions to make. I have come to really enjoy getting out and meeting people at the shows, talking to them about my soaps, and being able to offer a wide product line. However, as my hope to make this a viable business started to wane, I began to resent certain aspects of running it. Between resentment and disappointment, the joy began to seep out of the entire process, and that’s where the depression started.

I am no stranger to depression; I’ve dealt with it off and on for a good portion of my life. And really, I think everyone deals with depression at some point in their lives, some of us becoming clinically depressed, and some of us dealing with just plain old depression. But regardless of how it’s classified, I almost always realize that I’m depressed when I lose interest in doing things. The one that usually gets my attention is when I have the desire to sew or quilt, but not the ability. I realized last week that I had a problem when I thought about making a quilt but then decided it was too much work to clean up the studio. It’s not really that bad to begin with; there are some things on the cutting table that I need to put away but it’s not like I’m walking hip deep in crap or anything. I thought at first that maybe I was tired, but it happened again. And again. And then yesterday, before I made the decisions about the business, I thought that sewing would be a great way to take my mind off of my troubles, but I realized that the business has sort of sucked the joy out of sewing, too. As I sat here thinking about it, I realized that what I really need to do is create boundaries with my business. Even a smaller scale operation will get out of hand if I let it – and I think that’s where my primary issue is in the first place. I try to do more than I can, and that stresses me out, which then begins to wear on me, and after a while I find myself where I am now – depressed and irritated and wishing I’d never started a business in the first place.

Chris and I were talking about this yesterday, and we agreed that it’s out of hand. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, my work space when I started this business was my office. My desk was in there, and I cut and stored the soap there, too. When I started with the embroidery business, I needed a place to store the blank products, so I installed three large plastic shelves (think garage storage) in our bedroom. Somewhere around September, I realized that there wasn’t really enough space in the office for everything, so I started to store some of my soap in the hallway between my studio and the garage, which leads to my studio. By the end of the year, I’d moved my “office” space to the studio, and started to turn the former office in to a storage room. But that wasn’t enough space, either, so now a good chunk of stuff is in my studio, and under the bar in our dining area, not to mention the wagon I have that holds my big pails of oil. Every time I turn around, I’m out of space, and the business has taken over half of the downstairs area, and moving up the stairs in to our bedroom. There is not a place anywhere in this house that I can get away from it, because everywhere I go, every place I look, there’s some bit of my business.

And because I require the use of a stove and sink (and sometimes the oven), my kitchen is always in use, either by my business, or to prepare meals. I don’t do both at the same time – one is done before the other begins – but it creates a LOT of dishes to be done, and sometimes I feel like I am NEVER done with cleaning the kitchen. There have been days when I have done dishes six times and still couldn’t keep up completely.

I want – I NEED – to claw back space that shouldn’t be used for business, and to create areas of my home where it’s just not acceptable to store business related items. I was so gung ho for a while there, I lost sight of the need to maintain a work-free zone for myself and my family. It’s going to take time to get to the point where I’ve “de-businessed” areas, because I’m not going to just throw that stuff away or donate it. But my current goal is to not add to the mess by buying more things I need to store. I will be doing some embroidery work on some t-shirts in the hopes that I can sell some of them at upcoming shows, in my Etsy shop and on my website, so keep your eyes open for them.